I have just found out that I am pregnant at the age of 39! I already have two beautiful children age 9 & 6, and we were very happy and not planning any more. I have twice booked in for a medical termination and cancelled both times. My husband feels we should probably go through with the termination as this pregnancy was unplanned. However, he will support me 100% in whatever decision I make. I am in absolute turmoil and can think of nothing else for fear of making the wrong decision. I feel too old to have another baby, and after the birth of my 2nd suffered postnatal depression, which I am terrified may return. Can anyone give me any advice please? Thanks

Editor’s note: Thank you for writing in…I think you would recognise immediately the feeling that your head is telling you one thing and your heart is telling you something else, wouldn’t you? It’s also hard to make a decision when you know what others think you should do.

What concerns me is that you have you have cancelled the appointment twice. You seem to have doubts and it’s very important that you understand what that doubt is trying to achieve for you that’s positive.

It also concerns me that you have had previous depression, even post-natally, as you are likely to struggle with it after an abortion, particularly if you have been in two minds about what to do or have suffered a previous pregnancy loss. I think you would benefit from talking your situation through with a trained advisor, someone who will give you time and space, as well as accurate information, so that you can make the decision you can live with. Please call the helpline, visit your nearest centre or use Online Advisor to talk confidentially. We’ll be thinking of you.